Bangor Daily News Community

Losing My Mind

By: Chris_Quimby

It's no fun growing old.  It's just like that guy said.

What's his name, the one with the brown hair?

I'm only 33 or 34.  According to my recollection, the biggest frustration I have is my forgetfulness.For example, recently my wife
or mother asked me to go to Toys R Us or Goodwill and pick up
ingredients to make pizzas or to get my oil changed.  Much to their
dissatisfaction, I forgot why I went and only registered the car while
completely forgetting the marshmallows.

And that's not the only thing.  On September 11, 2001, or on my wedding
day I was supposed to pick up my high school buddy at the airport or
make a CD mix of Aerosmith and Tom Petty.  As you would expect, I left
it in the oven too long and it was burned beyond recognition.

I know there are products out there for people like me, but I do not
trust them.  At work, I always listen to WEZQ.  No, wait, it's WZON. 
At night, they play an advertisement for a supplement called Focus
Factor that is supposed to improve memory.  I can't remember their
contact information, but I wouldn't order it anyway.

Part of the reason is because a few years ago a good friend of mine got
very sick from taking Focus Factor or drinking too much alcohol.  He or
she may or may not still be alive, depending on who they are.  I think
that just goes to show that you'd be better off apologizing to you
supervisor rather than getting highlights in your hair.

The funny thing is, there is some information that I never forget. 
There must be a special place in my brain for sports memories.  I still
remember after 8 or 11 years that when my son was born, the kid whose
first name starts with a J, I think, that the Boston Celtics played the
Portland Trailblazers in Boston.  It was fun to watch the game, and
even more special because my wife gave birth to a healthy human, who
was a specific number of pounds and ounces.

And the Boston Red Sox played in Baltimore against the Orioles when my
daughter was born.  I watched the game at the hospital in Belfast or
Islamabad.  I think the birth of my daughter went fine, as well,
because she's out in the kitchen right now eating Cocoa Puffs.

Not everything about having a bad memory is difficult, though.  I
assume there have been many accidents throughout my life that I have
forgotten, given all of these scars on my skin.  Also, my auto
insurance is higher than other people’s and sometimes my wife gets
easily frustrated by some of my habits, almost as if she has been
dealing with them for years.

These observations all cause me to theorize that I have been through
some difficult episodes that I have thankfully not been able to
remember.  Maybe I’ve just had a wonderful life and I can’t think of
them because they never happened.

I hardly think that’s the case, though, because even though my normal
mind is useless, my sports mind is consistently reliable.  And with
that mind, I can easily remember painful things that have happened to
me in the past.

For example, there was the time in 1986 when the Boston Red Sox lost
the World Series.  And there was the time when Boston Celtic Reggie
Lewis died.  Also, Larry Bird was out a good deal of one whole season
with a bad back.

But I’m pretty sure my wife, whoever she is, was not giving birth to a
child during any of those events.  After all, they probably all
happened many years ago, and she and I have only been married since a
certain day in June or July during one of the years in the most recent
century.

It was in 19 something-or-other, most likely a very special day.